Wednesday, March 9, 2011


It's raining outside today so I'm just gonna stay inside. I am not that sick anymore. It's supposed to rain like this for the next few days. Rain during the day with snow coming in around nighttime. Dad's downstairs watching TV, something about the railroad's on the History Channel I think, while I'm upstairs on the computer. I haven't talked to my mom in a 3 days. She hasn't bothered calling me either. I think I'm just gonna relax for the next few days.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Bonding Time

My dad and I have been growing a bit distant lately so we decided to eat lunch together today. We ended up deciding on Denny's. I think the main reason we've grown apart recently has a lot to do with my parents hostility toward each other in recent years. My dad used to come home from work everyday happy as can be until he got laid off from his old job and now has to work in a shiping warehouse. Now he comes home drunk all the time and immediately passes out within 15 minutes of being home. Anyway...back to Denny's. We didn't talk much, since I had a headache, but we did bond a bit more today. We just talked about normal stuff. You know the, "how was school, was work ok, ect." Afterwords we went home and both just sat on the couch and watched TV. He went to bed around 10:30pm while I stayed up until, well late I guess. It feels like I was only sitting there for a few minutes, but the clock said 3:26am by the time I put my head down to go to sleep. I'm tired...I'm gonna go back to bed.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Railroad Tracks

I was walking home with a few of my friends, since no one has gas money, on the railroad tracks today. Nothing out of the norm was really going on, the trees were an off green and orange with the wind slowly blowing thought the woods. The bright warm sun beating down on our tired bodies and the gravel below us. We climbed up one of the bridges, where the cars pass over the valley, and sat under the one side to briefly take a break in the shade. As I took a water bottle out of my backpack I noticed a strange symbol within the graffiti on the bridge. There was a giant X with a O around it on one of the pillars. I went over to wash it off, if I could, just because for some reason it was making me feel uneasy in a way. When I touched it I heard a voice. The same voice that I heard a few days ago. I couldn't make out words, but as soon as I heard it I let go of the wall and told my friend Miles that I wanted to leave. He looked at me in a strange way and asked, " afraid of heights or somethin?" I said, "Ya, I get dizzy and feel like I'm gonna fall. I just want to start headin home...I'm tired." We all then left and soon went our separate ways toward home. The whole way back I kept telling myself I'm just dehydrated and keep making these things up. I know I am...I have to be.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Went Hunting Today

Dad walking through the woods around noon
My father, Tim, and I went hunting today. I almost didn't go, mainly due to the fact I've had frequent migraines and was nauseous this morning. I woke up to him saying, "'s need to get up soon if we're going today." I second guessed whether I was up to it, but I know the small bits of time we spend together mean a lot to him so I got up and soon after was ready to leave. At first I was enjoying myself as usual, but then, about halfway into the woods, I started getting
these...feelings. Feelings that are too dark to describe. I heard this...this voice, inside my head, and it was telling me to commit
awful things. It was telling me, "He doesn't love you. Just pull the trigger, no one will find out." I'm not sure were it came from, but the last thing I remember before it overcame me was looking at the trees around me and thinking that it was colder than usual for that time of day. Next thing I can recall is my dad tapping me on the shoulder and saying, "you better quit dazin like that or you'll miss the deer when they start movin around soon." I don't know why that happened earlier today, but I don't want it to ever happen again.